Buttheads from Outer Space
My best friend Lloyd and I had the perfect plan.
We started a blog to invite aliens to come to Earth and hang out―but only with us. That way, they wouldn't have to meet any boring world leaders or get cut open by scientists or anything like that. We'd just chill out, eat junk food, and play video games together. Sweet, right? And it worked! Two aliens showed up one night in the bathroom of my favorite restaurant, and we snuck them home to my room.
The problem is, they're total buttheads! Literally. They have butts on their heads, and they talk in farts. They're rude, disgusting, and they love Earth so much, they just invited 70 billion of their friends to join them here.
Now it's up to us―two sixth graders with B-pluses in science―to save the planet from the sickest extraterrestrials in the universe. (Preferably without my parents finding out.)
Sorry, everyone. Better get used to talking out of your butts, because we're all probably doomed…
For readers who want them, there are fart, butt, and bodily function jokes galore. There is even a prolonged broccoli flinging episode in the restaurant. Younger readers will find it especially interesting that the aliens farts can simulate a lot of different Earth smells, from McDonalds to cinnamon buns to less pleasant aromas.
If science fiction has taught me nothing else, it's that you NEVER give aliens the smaller corner to claim as their own, because they will just start to take over! We need to look no further than Faulkner's The Assault or Walden's Earthfall for proof of this! While this book has more in common with humorous speculative fiction like Emerson's Society for Alien Detection or Kloepfer's Into the Dorkness, the message is clear: be careful of aliens, especially if they eat your couch cushions and then barf them up repeatedly!