Publication Date: 2011
My Rating: 1.5 /5 stars**
*Not the good, Shopie Kinsella, kind of chick lit. More of the bad, horrible-written kind celebrity authors try to write. Think Lauren Conrad’s L.A. Candy series kind of chick lit.
** Only because some of the story lines were okay-ish, otherwise it would have gotten a 1.
Dollhouse is the Kardashians poor attempt at writing a book. Well this is the worst book I’ve read all year. Sure, the story lines were okay and kind of interesting, at times but the characters were completely, please excuse my language, ass holes! They’re selfish, evil, judge-mental, people. I wanted to punch them in the face. They completely insult their mother and any other woman from reasons such as being old. The only character I really liked was Kyle. She was great, although that girl has a serious porn addiction.
The dialogue and writing style was so bad. This was so poorly written. Too many clichés were used and the dialogue was completely unrealistic. And the vocabulary. I swear, it sounded like a thirteen-year-old preppy girl had written this. “Ohmigod”, “Oh my God”, “totally”, “definitely”, and “cool” were used a crazy amount of times. Here’s an actual sentence taken from the book: “Ohmigod, Kamille!” Kass tried to sit up, but she couldn’t. “You’re here! I’m so happy to see you! Ohmigod!” (Page 272) It’s so frustrating and irritating. I couldn’t take any of the dialogue seriously because of the overuse of those words. And why do they need to call each other “doll” so much! It’s annoying and stupid!
And the funniest thing about this book is in the copyright page where it says how the people in the book are made from the author’s imagination and how any similarity to people dead or alive is a coincidence. I guess that makes sense, since the authors are the Kardashians and they’re probably always thinking about themselves. What I’m trying to say is: this book is just Keeping Up With The Kardashians but written down on paper and with names changed. Like seriously, doesn’t the name Kam sound familiar? *ahem* Kim *ahem*. And there were just some many similarities to their lives. Why didn’t they just write an autobiographical book about themselves instead of this? Oh, wait, they did! Ugh, it was awful. Just so awful.
Another thing I hated was the end. There were so many unanswered questions (Oh, gosh, no sequel, please! Just no!) and it seemed like all the problems were fixed magically. It’s like “Oh, yeah, I hated you for months, but it’s the end of the book so I’m magically gonna like you again! Yay!” And the confession their mom made at the end. Oh, please, that was just stupid. A stupid, stupid ending. Also, it seemed that Kamilla’s fame came instantly and easily. It’s like she didn’t work for it! It was just easy-peasy! And she fell in love with a guy after knowing him for 5 minutes! WTF? That’s all I can say!
There were some Okay-ish story lines. Like the getting-pregnant-from-sister’s-boyfriend line. But beside that, the book was, excuse my language once again, shit. Or scheisse, like the German say it. The characters were horrible and I hated them all, except for Kyle. They all sounded like friggin` teenage girls, and I’m pretty sure teenage girls don’t even speak like that anymore! UGH, I HATED, HATED, HATED THIS BOOK SO MUCH! If only they would have written it differently, then maybe it would have been good, or good-ish, at least. So what did I get out of this book, you may ask? Well, I got a headache and the pleasure of knowing what big fame-whores the Kardashians are. Adios, muchachos and muchachas. Au revoir!