I read this book about a month ago and waited a while before I wrote the review, in the hopes that my emotional feelings about the book would die down a little. They haven’t, so I’m going with what my first reactions were.

The moment I turned the last page, I had two reactions: 1) What the heck just happened?? And 2) (and this one I actually said aloud, startling my cats) “Well, that was about the most depressing thing ever.” Before I go any farther, I should give you some background about me that will help you (hopefully) understand my reaction to this book.

I’m not an overly religious person. I’m pretty much a “believe as you like” kind of gal. I don’t really understand a lot of religious groups (The Church of Latter-Day Saints included), but I’m not necessarily against them either. The author – or, giving the benefit of the doubt – the main character feels that everything and everyone involved with the Church is evil. Like I said, I don’t understand them, but I find it hard to believe that everyone in this particular town are small-minded, evil, religious zealots. [Edit: upon re-reading, I noticed that this sounds like I meant the author was against all religion...I meant only this particular Church/town, within the context of the book. Just thought I'd clear that up.] Anyway…moving on.

So. That said…this is a novel in poetry from the point of view of Pattyn Von Stratten (great name, eh?), a teenage girl having a conflict in her faith. Her family belongs to the Church of Latter Day Saints, but she feels trapped. She also feels that her parents are hypocrites (her father, for instance, is a heavy drinker and he abuses them and their mother) and that the other members of the church are just as bad.

When Pattyn disobeys her parents and the teachings of the church and begins dating a boy outside her faith, she feels herself starting to awaken to the possibilities of a whole new life. As you might expect, this ends badly when her dad discovers the relationship and Pattyn’s boyfriend drops her like a hot potato after a little prodding from her father.

As her mother is pregnant again with what will (hopefully, in her father’s eyes) be a boy child, Pattyn is unceremoniously packed off to live with her father’s sister, an aunt that she’s hardly ever seen. It’s the best thing that has ever happened in Pattyn’s young life. Her aunt is not part of the church and encourages her to think differently, behave differently, and ultimately, to fall in love with a college student named Ethan.

Ethan changes Pattyn’s life forever. They fall deeply, madly in love. These poems are the best in the collection – raw and full of feeling. The reader, at this point, is rejoicing in Pattyn’s having found herself and having found true love.

And then, we come to the end of the book, which is slammed down upon the reader like a bullet train traveling through Tokyo. All hope flies out the window.

(At this point, I’m going to be giving some spoilers, so if you don’t want to know too much, skip to the last paragraph now)

In a short number of poems/pages, Pattyn discovers that her father is now beating her favorite sister. Then he picks her up to bring her home and she is the new object of his physical abuse. The church simply backs him up and when she discovers she is pregnant with Ethan’s child, it’s her fellow teenage churchgoers that “turn her in.” Everyone and everything conspires against her. She calls Ethan, he picks her up and then things get really crazy, as if the author were sitting there thinking “Hmmmm, what’s the worst possible thing that could happen? Okay….now, how can I make that even worse??”

While Pattyn and Ethan are escaping, they get in an automobile accident in which both Ethan and the baby die. When Pattyn gets out of the hospital – and this is the last poem of the book – she is waiting on an overpass with a rifle to shoot her father and other members of the church. This is when my “say what??” reaction occurred.

(end spoiler section)

The poetry in this novel is very good, with rich imagery, and stanzas that can wrap right around you. I think the message is muddled by a little too much blatant hatred and the seemingly thrown-in inclusion of anti-nuclear/anti-government testing in the middle of the book (it feels like it comes at you from left field). But, that’s only my opinion. Pattyn is a character that you grow to care about (which is why the ending hit me so hard). I’d love to hear your opinion if you read this one. Recommended for ages 14 and up.

[Edit: the author was kind enough to respond to some of my points above (click on the "comments" link).]

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